Late Onset Separation Anxiety

Cupcake is 10 months old and I finally decided to take her to the babysitting at my gym. I figured she was old enough to not need me too much since I figured it would be too hard in the days when I ebf. I also figured she would not be too old where the separation would be at its peak. Online they tell you that separation anxiety starts around a year, so I was interested to see how she’d do.

When I walked in the Kids’ Center after my workout, Cupcake giggled and came right over to me with hands outstretched for me to pick her up. The girl running it said she did great and did not cry once. Cupcake played well with the other children. I was so proud of my girl!

What they forgot to mention in my online research was that separation anxiety also makes a resurgence during your first years of mommyhood! While Cupcake apparently was fine… I was not!

The whole time I was running, I kept checking to see if one of the employees was looking for me. I kept thinking I heard a baby cry, which would have been impossible even if she was crying as I had my IPod blaring and the Kids’ Center is pretty conveniently located to minimize noise. Instead of running my usual distance, I got to 1.5 miles and figured it was enough.

When I started stretching, I thought Eh. I’m limber enough. No need to stretch today.

I typically love showering at the gym because it is uninterrupted time. Today, I kept looking out from behind the curtain to be sure no one needed me from the front desk.

It’s snowing outside and 20-something degrees and I thought no need to blow dry my hair today!

When I walked in to see that button-nosed little girl smiling, ugh my heart just beamed.


At least I know she’ll be okay for next time! As for me? Well I’m just happy to have my baby girl back in my arms!

Did you have any trouble the first few times you left your little one somewhere? Please tell me I’m not the only crazy out there!


4 thoughts on “Late Onset Separation Anxiety

  1. I have thought about joining a gym, but I am having trouble finding one that has day care. I think I would be just like you as I am checking the baby monitor when I run at home. I have had trouble when I leave her with my mom, especially over night. It does get better though, eventually you remember that having some time away is good for both of you! Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh I have to be away for the night at the end of the month and I am dreading it, even though Cupcake will be with my husband! She still nurses at night (more for comfort than legit need), but I’m so worried about her! You are right though, it is good for both of us.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I started going to back school at the beginning of January and still have anxiety. Not just that if I go into a store with or without my little Bug and hear a baby cry, I freak out. If she is with me but in another part of the store with her dad and someone’s baby starts to cry, it’s all I can do to keep from crying. It get better but slowly. But because we are moms we will always worry about our babies.

    Liked by 1 person

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