Transformation Tuesday

Well this is transformation Tuesday and usually people write about their weight loss or something like that.

I’m going to bring you a different type of transformation.

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Day 2 of Momming vs. Day 144
(Yes, I counted)

The picture on the left is our first full day together as mommy and baby. It was the day she earned her nickname from her big cousin who insisted she was either Gilbert or Cupcake. I’m glad we got that settled 🙂

On Day 2, I was feeling excited, overwhelmed and in a tiny bit of pain. I was very in love, but not in the overwhelming way yet. I needed time at home to get to know her. I loved all of our doctors and nurses, but I felt so unsure of myself with them all around. Would I be able to do it on my own? Would I be an okay mom? Who was this little person and did I really get to keep her? Why the f did nursing hurt this much and would I be able to stick it out? For real- I get to keep her?

On Day 144, I have transformed into the mama that I am. I know that little girl and I love her more than words can say. She is the brightest spot in my life. Cupcake knows to look for me when someone asks, “Where’s Mommy?” She knows who I am. And I know her. I know that little smile and her one dimple (just like me!). I know that giggle and those beautiful blue eyes (just like Daddy!). I have been blessed with nearly seven months of nursing her and am happily still going strong. I can decipher which cry means I don’t really need anything. Just pick me up and cuddle me and which means I’m just crying because I can’t make words yet. I’m okay. On Day 2, they all sounded the same.

I still am unsure at times, but I know now that there isn’t always a right answer. What works for Cupcake might not work for her someday future siblings. I am finding my way, momming the best that I can.

This is the happiest of transformations for me. I can’t wait to see what that little girl does next!

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